One of my favourite things to do in the world in think, some others being talking and sleeping. I always said that I talk faster than I write, think faster than I talk and talk faster than most people can comprehend. It’s one of my little perks that I particularly enjoy boasting of, though I doubt anyone other than me thinks of it as a 'boastable' quality. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that lack of use of well constructed, thought out sentences and lack of people who understand me (yes, there are a few) has led my language to become quite unimpressive and well, sometimes, just plain wrong. So, trying hard to keep up with my brain, my hands now attempt to document some of the things (mostly egocentric and useless things, though, I’ll try to leave that part out) my head comes up with.
Honestly, this whole blogging thing is quite scary. Every time I feel like pouring my heart out, I remember that this is going to be on the internet. But, then I also remember that very few people actually come to this page anyway, so, well, I’m back to square one. (this would be some of the useless things)
I was just discussing child birth with my dear dear mother, who was kind enough to give me every little painful detail, demotivating my extremely determined mind to have a child. Frankly, as much as I really do want to have a child (2 actually, preferably one girl and one boy and, preferably twins, so it’s all over in one go) I do wonder, especially after the narration of the process from someone who’s experienced it first hand, how women can still refer to it as the most rewarding experience ever. I guess, at some level I do understand it, but perhaps with the narration so fresh in my head, I can’t really see that far. I do want a child though and as for all that other stuff, I’m going to leave it to judgment day to decide whether I want to consciously experience it all or keep my eyes on the prize and just endure. Either way, I’m going to have children, so might as well do it the way nature intended.
I’m seventeen, and I’m sure that one may find it either astonishing or inappropriate or both, that I think of these things. Hey, I can’t help it, I can’t stop myself from thinking about all these things.
Like death for instance, another gloomy delicate topic that can make some people uncomfortable. I remember asking my grandfather once (I think I was 13 or 14 and him around 75 at the time) that if he was to die tomorrow, what would be his dying wish. I thought I’d be reprimanded by my family for stirring up such a topic but instead I managed to gather everyone’s attention as they all now wanted to know the answer. My grandfather replied that all he wanted was that no one should cry upon his death.
I do constantly think of how blessed I am to have parents and grandparents who answer all my questions, whether they’re about general phenomenon, the news, religion and rituals, God or sex. It is rightly said that knowledge is power. When you know things it enables you to comprehend other things much better. It gives you confidence and allows you to develop your own opinion. For example, my idea of God but, I guess I’ll save that for another time.