Television shows. Oh, how I relish them. The number of shows that I watch and love are so many, they're hard for me to even jot down. Just yesterday I was watching the double episode season three premier of 'boston legal'. At the end of the second episode, Alan Shore, a character who's well, charmingly ruthless and as some put it, ethically challenged, says that he feels a certain attraction towards his mother. It's not sexual, he says, he simply desires love. He craves the care that comes with a mother's embrace. Perhaps thats why I wear so many tailored suits, he adds. I had just begun to think of how difficult it must be for a hard-assed lawyer like him to be so brutally honest and admit such a thing, when he turns to his best friend Denny and asks 'do you ever feel lonely?' Denny doesn't like all the deep conversation. Its a simple question, Alan says and asks again. Denny immediately answers no, and turns the tables. 'You?' Alan is asked and he gazes far across the brightly lit Boston city, eyes unfocused, and manages a "no" as well.
That dishonest no touched a chord in my heart.
No one can understand you better than yourself. You might not know yourself fully but if you truly attempt to analyze yourself, then no one else's knowledge of you, can possibly compete. And because of that, i think, sometimes you can feel lonely even when you're surrounded by people. Sometimes no one can understand what you're going through. I'm blessed and most fortunate to have a crowd of loving and caring people around me, but, still, sometimes, right now, as i'm writing this for instance, as I reminisce, I can't help but feel a little lonely. I feel like i'm lost, like i'm missing something but i don't know what it is. Its hard to describe, even harder to understand.
Even though "boston legal" put such thoughts in my head, I pity those who never feel the emotional stirring that such television provides. The things they force you to think about and the things they make you feel. As sad and painful as it may sound, it's also equally beautiful. it makes me want to just close my eyes and drown myself in all its beauty, lie in it forever........
But alas, i come out into the real world with, in retrospect, gratitude for all my short-lived experiences. Who knows? Perhaps even the loneliness is only a phase that i shall later be thankful for....
That dishonest no touched a chord in my heart.
No one can understand you better than yourself. You might not know yourself fully but if you truly attempt to analyze yourself, then no one else's knowledge of you, can possibly compete. And because of that, i think, sometimes you can feel lonely even when you're surrounded by people. Sometimes no one can understand what you're going through. I'm blessed and most fortunate to have a crowd of loving and caring people around me, but, still, sometimes, right now, as i'm writing this for instance, as I reminisce, I can't help but feel a little lonely. I feel like i'm lost, like i'm missing something but i don't know what it is. Its hard to describe, even harder to understand.
Even though "boston legal" put such thoughts in my head, I pity those who never feel the emotional stirring that such television provides. The things they force you to think about and the things they make you feel. As sad and painful as it may sound, it's also equally beautiful. it makes me want to just close my eyes and drown myself in all its beauty, lie in it forever........
But alas, i come out into the real world with, in retrospect, gratitude for all my short-lived experiences. Who knows? Perhaps even the loneliness is only a phase that i shall later be thankful for....
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